Thursday, May 26, 2016

7 things that successful people always do to build lasting relationship

So what are the 7 things that successful people always do to build lasting relationships? Note the use of the word “lasting”, and this makes sense, because successful people are too busy and too smart to waste their time so they focus on cultivating the types of relations that can stand the test of time, so that both parties can reap the benefits and the rewards.

1. State the objective of the relationship early on

This may sound business-like and serious, but in fact, it is such a relief to be able to build a relationship where you know the overall incentive behind it. Maybe you want to learn from each other.
Maybe you hope to do business together someday.
Maybe you want to be challenged or motivated.
Maybe you want to learn the business success lessons of one another.
Successful people are not shy to state the objective of the relationships that they plan to make lasting and neither should we!
Stating the reasons why you want to have a relationship is far better than not stating them at all or pretending they are something else altogether.

2. Communicate openly and clearly and listen intently

Listening and communicating well are the top traits of all successful people in general, but these elements come to play when you watch them in their relationships. They listen intently. They are present when they are with the other person. They are not too busy to listen and too quick to move on to the next thing.
Successful people also communicate openly, even if it means they need to ask for something or say no about something.
Open communication and intent listening are the foundations of lasting relationships.

3. Never wait until they need something to build a relationship

Successful people don’t “save” your relationship building energy — because they know that the energy does not run out. It grows by use, it expands and they use it well in building lots of relationships. They build these relationships well in advance of ever needing them.
So their motive is never colored by their own selfish desires to get “something out of the relationship” but rather, they go into each relationship with mutual benefits to both parties, and build lots of relationships.
Then when the time comes that they may have need of their relationship, they’ve already filled the trust fund and can “borrow” so to speak.
Don’t wait!” is the ultimate word of caution concerning relationships, and certainly don’t wait until you need a favor.
It’s like signing up for insurance after you lose your precious stone only to turn around and file a claim. Insurance companies, much as I dislike them, are not stupid and neither are people. You may very well get away with it — the favor, the insurance, or both — but know this, with this approach, you have not built a relationship, you have made a transaction.

4. Give generously at the start of a relationship. Give more throughout

Successful people don’t keep tabs on what’s in it for them and what favors they can collect on later, and this is especially true at the beginning of a relationship. Giving and giving a lot is the theme they use if they are building a lasting relationship.
This isn’t about advocating a selfless behavior — compassion and giving yes but selflessness, no – which means there is reward for the self when you give of yourself to others in a relationship first.
Giving means offering, as little or as much as you can, of your time, knowledge, expertise, energy, power or position in life, and watching it come back to you ten fold. Giving can be rewarding in itself. I know that in my mastermind group, I get more reward in giving to my team members than I do in receiving feedback for my own challenges from them. Funny how much you get by giving so focus on giving.

5. Speak up if something is not going well

I look back at so many friendships that went sour in my past, and it always comes down to nobody ever speaking up when things weren’t going well. We are afraid of saying anything and hurting someone’s feelings. Successful people don’t suffer from this.
When something is not going well in their relationships, successful people just speak up.
They speak up with integrity, with compassion and with kindness, but they still speak up and they do this early on so that the problems don’t fester. They do this not to make a fuss or complain, but to make the relationship better, stronger, and more mutually beneficial.
This is one of the more challenging things to do in a relationship so start on a smaller scale. This also tests your communication and listening skills, which is the second tip above. If you can get used to doing this well, you will have more rewarding lasting relationships in your life.

6. Fiercely support and protect their relationships

You know how you guard your jewelry? Well, successful people guard their relationships that well. They are protective of the people who have entrusted them with this lasting connection and they are careful how they leverage these relationships.
Basically, they don’t take their relationships lightly. Rather, they treat them like gold, like fortune, and that’s what lasting relationships can do for you in life.
Successful people always speak highly of the people in their relationships, they watch out for them, they guard their reputation, and they represent them to others as they’d want to be represented themselves.
They are simply protective and supportive as a big brother or sister would be to a younger sibling, and in turn, they get the same treatment from the people in those relationships. Everyone wins!

7. Work hard to mend, repair and strengthen a damaged relationship

Sometimes things happen, even to successful people. A miscommunication gets out. A ball gets dropped. A promise gets broken. And the relationship suffers a little.
Successful people are quick to bring focus and attention and care to a damaged relationship. They are not too proud to apologize and to offer to mend their ways. They are not too proud to work hard at regaining trust and rebuilding strength. They know that relationships are a long-term investment and an enabler for their aspirations and desires. They work hard at making things work again in their relationships, and hence make it even stronger than before.
So next time something goes awry in your relationship, think of it as an opportunity to get even closer and build even a stronger more authentic relationship.

Make A Man Happy And Watch Him Treat You Like A Princess!

When a couple have been together for quite some time, they often tend to lose sight of a supposedly mutual goal to make each other happy. This is a sad yet common reality these days. Then again, you have the power to change all this and using these tips for women for a good marriage just wait and see how your man responds. With the right pieces of advice and the desire to keep the man in your life happy, you will definitely be able to make a difference in your romantic relationship with your husband.
 
There are actually a lot of things you can do to look after you man's happiness. These things do not necessarily involve money and are in fact easy to accomplish, for as long as you put your mind to it. Here are some examples of relationship advice that may be of help to you and your love relationship.
 
# 1: Be yourself.
 
You have to accept the fact that your man liked and eventually loved  you just the way you are. Therefore, it would be unnecessary to try to change a lot of things about yourself, except maybe over the years you may have become more complacent and not putting in so much effort as you could, this is not uncommon in a marriage after a period of being together. Aside from that, there is really no reason to make an effort to change everything about yourself.
 
Bear in mind that trying to change yourself drastically may have a number of negative effects not only on your man, but on the romantic relationship as well,he married you for who you are and not someone you are trying to be. So go on being your genuine self while taking on board these tips for women for a good marriage and watch your man become the happiest man on Earth.
 
# 2: Don't put him on such a short leash.
 
Know that, just like you, your man needs a little space and time alone to think or just to unwind with friends. You know how much us women like to get together and talk and have time on our own, so why shouldn't he? Whatever he chooses to do with his free time you should acknowledge and accept it and be happy for him having interests outside of the home. It can make a very boring man if all he does is work.
 
Then again if his choices of activity tend to lean more on the possibility of seeing other woman, then you would have everyright to address the situation. But apart from that scenario and several other relationship related issues, you should not be checking up on him all the time. Trust along with honesty is the most important factor in the success of your marriage.
 
In addition, as you allow him the time to relax and have time to himself, you can also make use of the free time to catch up on your reading or just spend some time alone. You will soon find out that your husband's absence can really make you heart grow fonder.  
 
# 3: Avoid becoming like his Mum.
 
Being thoughtful and caring is a lot different form nagging. Men, in fact, hate it whenever they are nagged, it can make them feel like little boys and being told off by their Mum's. All the same, you also need to be aware of how you speak to him and the behaviour you tend to show him. For instance, if you notice that you tend to critizise or are sarcastic in your ways, then you better look to address this in yourself.Their are three things a man wants and that is to be acknowledged for everything he does, even the little things, to be adored and to be appreciated. If you can give your man these three great things you will definantly make him feel 10 feet tall. 
 
# 4: Listen.
 
Your man can never get enough of this. He will probably appreciate it if you start listening to things that he has to say regardless of how unimportant or insignificant they seem to you at times. He will certainly appreciate you more if he knows you are listening to him and care about all he has to say.If their is a particular topic which really does not interest you then share with him your feelings and let him know that most of the time you love to hear what he has to say but somethings are just not of interest to you, the same as their are things you do which he would probalby not find of interest. Just be open and honest with each other on this point. 
 
# 5: Buy him practical gifts.
 
Men are not usually into things like candles, decorative items, typically girly things. Men are much more practical and logical and usually want things that they can make use of or consume. Books, tools, and subscriptions/tickets are just a few of the examples of appropriate presents. Just cooking him his favourite meal can make him happy. It is not always about spending lots of money on expensive gifts, 
 
# 6: Just ask him straightforwardly.
 
In any intimate relationship, there is no better way to know how to make your man happy than to actually ask him. Hopefully, your husband would be honest enough to actually supply you with helpful answers. With this knowledge you will be better equipped to make your man happy and for him to start treating you like a princess. What you give out comes back ten fold as the saying goes.
 
These are just a few great tips for women for a good marriage and I am sure after talking to your husband you will come up with many more.

What to Do When Career Issues Threaten Your Relationship

Being in a romantic relationship is not all milk and honey. You and your partner will have to undergo several trials and the both of you will face some obstacles and challenges as you go your way looking for bliss in your relationship. One pertinent relationship problem that couples encounter is caused by career issues.
 
Man VS Woman
 
It has been a norm in society that the breadwinner of the family or a relationship should be the man. But what if that is not the case? What if the woman is the one working while the man stays in the house? Or another scenario is the woman has a higher position in the career ladder than the man?
 
This kind of predicament most often than not causes relationship issues. The ever-prideful man will not just take this situation lying down. He will stand up and fight though he knows he is not on the side of justice. The man in this situation will foster lingering insecurities and this builds up to a point where he can't take it anymore and explode. This is where the problem starts and the dawn of a bad relationship rises.
 
It may seem that the only way to stop this is for the woman to give up her career and let the man take his rightful responsibility. But do not rush into doing it because there are other things you can do to save your relationship without having to give up your career.
 
First and foremost, do not let your male partner feel that he is a useless person. Let him feel that he is still very important and that you can't continue doing what you are doing if he is not around. In other words, it is crucial to boost his ego and morale every once in a while.
 
Another way that you can do this is to never lose time for him. If you used to spend time with him 4 hours a day, then you must maintain it or lengthen the duration. You do not want him to feel that you are more focused on your work than on him. Remember, this man is very sensitive in these kinds of situations.
 
Last but not the least never ever blame your partner for what has happened to him or for any problems in your relationship. You need to be the more mature person in this situation and you need to understand him and become his support through this crisis in his life.
 
Career Is Taking A Chunk of Your Time
 
As a career oriented person, you may sometimes tend to give more attention to your work than anything else. Sometimes, it even reaches to a point wherein you neglect your relationship as well as your partner. If this kind of situation goes on, there is no doubt that one day the news will hit you in the face that your relationship has already crumbled to nothingness.
 
This is what usually happens to those who try to juggle career and romantic relationship without knowing anything about management. If you want to succeed in your career, and as well with your relationship it is of utmost importance that you give equal attention to both these aspects of your life. The best way to do this is to learn how to manage your time.
 
Time management is the key to having a successful loving relationship as well as a career. Give enough time to your relationship and  your career. Do not let one of them surpass the other.
 
Learn How To Prioritize
 
Relationship issues usually spring up when you give more attention to your career than your relationship. Even though it is not of utmost importance, you still are focused on your work. This should not be the case. You should learn how to assess and how to prioritize the situations you are in. If you think that it is more necessary to give attention to your relationship then do something about it. If you think that work needs to be prioritized for now, then by all means do so. It is all about balancing and prioritizing.

The Importance of Self-Esteem in a Lasting Relationship

Different people have different views when it comes to the idea of a romantic relationship. One clinical study stated that romantic love is basically one's unique emotional state of great calm, intense excitement, and improved well-being when the partner is present. 
 
Scientists also believe that a romantic and loving relationship is powerful and can be seen as an irrational addiction or attraction. They mainly characterize the feeling as a temporary phenomenon that is mostly comprised of sexual fantasies that easily diminish over time. Others believe that romantic love is a result of general physiological arousal normally based on negative impulses like anxiety, guilt, or fear. But then, there is no evidence that proves emotions are similar on the levels of physiology. 
 
How Self-Esteem Plays in a Romantic and Loving Relationship 
 
One of the most vital characteristics an individual should have to obtain a successful and happy romantic relationship is high self-esteem. Studies have shown that people with higher levels of knowledge, acceptance, individuality, and identity are more likely to function effectively in a romantic loving relationsip, and everything practically starts with one's self. 
 
The theory on how self-esteem greatly helps in keeping a romantic relationship working starts by understanding that in loving someone, one should learn to love himself/herself first.  The only way to achieve that is to have higher levels of self-worth. 
 
Aspects of Self-Esteem
 
Self esteem in a loving relationship is clearly defined as comprising of two different interrelated aspects. Self confidence is the first aspects which come from your sense of competence on how you deal with yourself and the world outside. This attitude starts from commitments to rationalities, as well as understanding and awareness of what reality is. 
 
The sense of self-worth and self-respect is another aspect to keep a romantic and loving relationship. These attitudes stem from your adherence to judgments and values. People with a great sense of self-respect often see themselves as worthy and deserving of happiness. 
 
It has long been proven that people with higher levels of self-esteem are more likely to experience romantic love than with those with low self-esteem. They are bound to have better romantic and loving relationships because the fact remains that they are less emotionally dependent on their partners. Also, they are aware that happiness is an internal satisfaction that roots from within, and not on external sources like education, health, and wealth. 
 
Individuals should know that before they expect a successful loving relationship, it is best to start by valuing oneself first. Before you build and develop a plan to meet someone, it is a better idea that you thoroughly examine yourself first, and evaluate who you really are and what it is in life that you really want. 
 
If there is one person that you should get to know more with firsthand, it should be yourself. There may also be some areas in your life that needs to be sorted out. It is advised that you work on those issues first before you start building a relationship. Also, it is possible that you meet your soul mate while in the course of your personal exploration. 
 
By the time you are done with your self-evaluation, you can easily attract more people and meet interesting ones easily. Remember that to keep a long lasting relationship, knowing yourself first and understanding the importance of self-esteem are essentials things towards building a long and lasting relationship.  

How Money Can Be The Root Of All Evil In A Marriage

One of the many reasons of fights in a marriage is around finances and couples so often are unaware how to address the marriage and money . In a romantic relationship, no matter how much the couples love each other, it is not impossible for them to have quarrels regarding money. 
 
Unfortunately, there are times when things get out of a hand. A simple disagreement regarding financial issues can turn into something that could destroy the marriage. Here are some of the ways how money can cause problems in mariage.

 
Man and Woman
 
Biologically and physically speaking, a man and a woman are different from each other. Psychologically speaking, a man thinks differently than a woman. A man and a woman have so many aspects that differ from one another. Because of these differences, money problems can arise. Men are very logical and women are emotional creatures.
 
A man and a woman have different points of view when it comes to money. A man sees money in a very different way than a woman does. He usually thinks of money as a source of confidence boost or a self-esteem boost and providing for his family. For a woman though, money is usually seen as a source of security in times of trouble because the number one thing a woman needs is certainty from her man. Because of this difference, which some couples are not even aware of can cause arguments.

 
Money Does Not Grow From Trees
 
It is usually the norm to let the man take all the responsibilities especially when it comes to financial responsibilities. This can be from purchasing a very expensive item to an extravagant dinner to a simple ice cream on hot sunny day. This can make man the man live up to the reputation of being a gentleman. 
 
But sometimes he has to realize that money does not grow from trees. You need to work hard to earn money. And when the time comes that financial problems are at the doorsteps, arguments and fights come along with it. What used to be a very sweet and intimate relationship becomes a battleground for harsh words and sometimes physical violence.
 

Avoiding The MoneyTopic
 
Money is a very sensitive topic when it comes to relationships and you have to be aware that marriage and money go hand in hand. That is why some people try to avoid it hoping that they would be able to avoid fights over money. But avoiding the topic of money is just like running and trying to hide from the inevitable. And no matter how much you run and hide, it will someday find you.
 

No Cooperation
 
When only one person in the marriage is involved with money matters, problems may arise. This usually happens when the not so financially involved person is caught off guard by their financial situation like their credit card limit has exceeded or items being purchased without his or her knowledge. So in marriage, it is very important that both parties have to partake in financial matters. Discussing financial matters together will also be a very big help in keeping the financial war at bay. Consult each other before doing any purchases and plan for your monthly expenditure and savings.
 

Overspending
 
Shopping! Shopping! Shopping! This is usually the problem for persons with partners who are shopaholics they buy and buy and buy. This becomes a very problematic situation when this particular partner does not know how to prioritize the financial needs in the marriage. Instead of giving his or her share for the monthly bills, this person goes out and buys a designer set of clothes that he or she saw on television.
 
Prioritization is the main goal here. You must let your partner realize that there are more important things to take care of than buying and shopping for items.

 
Who Makes More Money
 
This topic is an age old problem for couples. And this is more prevalent in marriage wherein the woman makes more money than the man and the former tries to take control of the relationship with her financial prowess. Of course as a man, with thousands of years of developed pride he is unlikely to want to take this lying done. Sooner or later he will retaliate and when that happens, the love relationship becomes a bad relationship.
 

But whatever kind of problems relating to your marriage and money can be solved by communicating with each other. Do not let your negative emotions get the best of you. Learn how to listen and learn how to compromise.

10 Ways to Tell Your Partner It’s Over

As one popular love song goes, “there’s no easy way to break somebody’s heart”.  That line is really true because in reality, nobody is really comfortable when they know that they are going to break up and will be breaking somebody else’s heart.

Most people would even say that inflicting physical pain to another person is easier than having to inflict emotional pain to someone else.  Although love relationships may have the happiest and most romantic love stories of all time, it also has a dark side; love relationships also offer the saddest and most heartbreaking situations of all time.

There’s no perfect relationship and in one time or another, there will come a point in your life when you have to take the initiative in having to end the relationship once and for all.  You may have you own set of reasons but one thing’s for sure; there’s really no easy way to break somebody’s heart.  If you think that you need some tips in breaking up with someone, this article is perfect for you.

Don’t Beat Around The Bush

1. When you are already decided that you want to get out of the relationship, be sure that you have a proper explanation as to why you want to get out of it.  It’s not good to leave a person hanging and it’s even worse to just leave them without even saying goodbye.

2. Keep in mind that the person that you are planning to leave has been a part of your life and they deserve some respect from you, even if you are already planning to leave them and get on with your new life.

3. Another thing to remember is that you have to be honest.  Don’t make up excuses that are far from the truth because that would only complicate things in the future.  It’s better to tell the truth because at least, once it’s all over, both of you can move on without any questions waiting to be answered.

4. If you’re afraid that telling the truth might hurt your partner, tell yourself that truth really hurts and your partner deserves to know the truth and nothing less but the truth.  If you got tired of him or her because he or she was boring and annoying, tell him or her directly.  Just don’t be rude in saying so because that would only add to the insult.

5. The advantage of telling the whole truth to your partner is so that they can work on their weaknesses and mistakes so that in the future, they won’t be faced with the same problems and their future partners won’t have to leave them because of the same reason.

Make Sure That There Is Proper Closure

6. When you break up with a person, don’t be a tease and don’t ever play with their feelings and emotions.  Put in mind that the moment you break up with someone, his or her heart will be very vulnerable.  Don’t be too nice and mushy because the person might think that you still have feelings for them and they might get the false hope that you might want to get back with them.

7. Directly tell your significant other that you are breaking up with him or her and then clearly state your reasons.  Avoid laughing or smiling when you are stating your reasons; learn to be empathetic because you really wouldn’t enjoy it if someone was smiling while breaking up with you.

8. Finish and solve all your unresolved issues and do try to keep the break-up civil and friendly.  Emphasize clearly yet nicely the need for both of you to move on and get on with each other’s lives.  Do not sugar-coat your reasons because you will only end up not being able to get your point across as well as making your partner more confused than before.

9. Just keep it short and simple.  Do not dawdle because that would only add to the anxiety of your partner.  If you want, you can tell him or her that you can still be friends, but that’s about it.

10. Don’t forget to express your gratitude to your partner for the time that you spent together.  Admit it, you shared some happy moments together and that’s worth expressing gratitude for.  

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

50 Amazing Relationship questions that can help both of you understand each other better

Relationship is all about compatibility, but note that opposites attract all the time, but too many opposites and no similarities won’t really help a relationship succeed.
Small differences make relationship cute.
But when you have differences in your approach to life or your ethics about relationships, it’s definitely not good for the romance.
Here are some relationship questions to test your compatibility
Have you been in a relationship for quite sometime now?
Then these questions will help both of you test your compatibility and understand each other better.
Do you find yourself getting angry with your partner for no reason at all? Perhaps, there are some overlooked issues that you need to face together and talk about.
Sit down with your partner on a lazy weekend afternoon, ask each other these questions and have an open mind. To make it easier for your selves.
RULES
Don’t let any questions annoy you and don’t ever clam up or go on the defensive. Remember, the answers to these questions should be truthful and help both of you understand each other better and by the time you’re done with the questions, you’d know more about each other and would also understand each other’s approach to life too.
QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF
1. Would you compromise your happiness for the success of the relationship?
2. What’s your idea of a romantic vacation like?
3. How would you want to spend a special day with each other
4. What would you define as cheating?
5. If I cheated on you, would you ever forgive me?
6. Would you ever say sorry to me even if it’s not your fault?
7. Are you friends with any of your exes?
8. How should finances be planned between a couple?
9. Do you think celebrating Valentine’s Day is ok?
10. What was your first impression about me?
11. Can you avoid flirting if someone attractive flirts with you when I’m not around?
12. Do you think romantic gifts have to be useful or do they have to be memorable?

13. What is the most special memory of us that you hold?
14. Would you blindly trust me and jump?
15. Do you have to know all of my friends?
17. Do you think past relationship secrets should always be kept hidden?
18. Do you think confessions make a relationship stronger?
19. Is it fine for a partner to use the toilet with the door open?
20. Is it right for us to either to run around naked in the house?
21. How best can we define our relationship
22. Will you cut off from your bad habits?
23. Describe your perfect man/woman that you would like to date.
24. In a relationship, what would make you feel happier, sharing or sacrificing?
25. Would you lie to make me happy and where would you draw the line?
26. What are some annoying habits of other couples that irritate you the most?
27. Why did u prefer me over others?
28. How do you vent out your frustrations in a relationship?
29. When was the last time I came in your dreams?
30. If we went to a store to buy a siting room couch and both of us liked different couches, would you still go with my color?
31. Will sex be your priority?
32. How often would you want to go out on a date with me?
33. What is your biggest sexual turn off?
34. What do you find sexiest about a person of the opposite sex?
35. What turns you on in me?
36. Would you feel insecure if I spent a lot of time at work?
37. How many sexual partners have you had in the past?
38. If you were convinced that I was making a bad decision, what would you do about it?
39.How many kids will you prefer?
40. When was the last time you disliked me?
41. If someone attractive exchanges glances with you at work, would you tell me about it?
42. What’s the craziest thing you’d be willing to do for me?
43. What kind of a parent do you think you’d be?
44. Ar you ready for marriage?
45. What is that you will like to change about me?
46. In an argument, whose side would you take, me or others?
47. Can you relocate for love?
48. Would you be open to disclosing all your health issues to me at all time?
49. Would you want me to leave you alone or spend time with you and cheer you up whenever you are moody?
50. What’s more important you in life?

8 Bad Habits That Could Ruin Your Marriage

Do you pay more attention to your Facebook and smartphone than your husband? Have you been avoiding sex lately? Do you hide some minor things from your partner? These behaviors all hurt your marriage. But it’s not too late to change bad habits. Here are some worst relationship mistakes and how to start fixing them today…
Habits often become so ingrained we don’t even notice we’re doing them. Whether your bad habit is a minor annoyance such as cracking your knuckles, or butting of your finger nails, or something more serious such as smoking,it takes conscious effort and smart planning to break the cycle. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if you can’t break it on your own.

STEPS
1. Write down details surrounding your habit(s). Keep a notebook around to log your habit. Anytime you perform the bad habit or feel tempted to do it, write down a description of what you were doing and how you were feeling when it happened. This will help you consciously.
Does the bad habit happen more often when you are stressed or nervous?
Does it happen more often (or less often) at certain places or during certain activities? These are the factors you need to know.

2. Get rid of temptation. Addiction on any level – social media, food, alcohol, drugs, shopping or gambling – can sour a marriage fast.
Try to avoid objects, places, and people that make you want to fall into your bad habit. Your habit notebook should help you identify these. Gradually minimize your stay on such places or rather stop attending to it or them. Because habits are often performed with barely any conscious thought, it’s much easier to remove the stimulus than to stop the habit with pure force of concentration.
If you’re trying to avoid eating junk food, move any junk food in your home out of the kitchen and other snacking areas, to a more difficult-to-access location. When shopping for food, avoid walking through the aisles that contain tempting junk food, or follow a strict, healthy shopping list and don’t bring any extra cash or a credit card.
If you’re trying to avoid checking your cell phone all the time, shut down the phone or put it in airplane mode. If that doesn’t work, turn off the cell phone and put it in a different room when you’re at home. Much more be sincere to yourself to practice all these.

3. Add something unpleasant to the habit. Your addiction quickly becomes a third party in your marriage. This gives you incentive to stop, and prevents you from picking up the habit unconsciously. When feasible, this can be very effective.
For habits that aren’t easy to make unpleasant, put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it against the skin to cause mild pain each time you catch yourself giving in to the habit. Funny isn’t it? but it works because you will not want to snap yourself often.

4. Replace a bad habit with a good one. Picking up a new, more positive habit won’t make your old one disappear, but a new ritual and source of pleasure can make the old one easier to break. So stop, and think about what you really value and how your addictive behavior is affecting your relationship or marriage
Many people find a daily exercise routine or jog becomes similarly satisfying once they’ve turned it into a habit.
Some bad habits have a “good habit” opposite that you can focus on improving, which some people find more rewarding and easier to keep up than breaking a bad one. For instance, to avoid unhealthy food, challenge yourself to cook a healthy dinner a certain number of times per week. Addictions are powerful. You must first want help before pursue counseling. “Once you are on the road to recovery, you’ll be in a position to work on your marriage” Bahar says.

5. Surfing Facebook, Instagram, Twitter etc when you could be with your partner is a bad habit. Stay vigilant during tempting scenarios. If you find yourself in a situation where it’s easy to return to the habit, repeat “don’t do it, don’t do it” to yourself in your head. If you know it will happen in advance, come up with a specific plan for exactly what you will do. Have a conscious effort. These conscious efforts can make it much easier to suppress unconscious habits that you would otherwise do without thinking.
For example, if you’re quitting smoking, plan on getting up and making yourself coffee or chatting with your partner. If a friend starts pulling out cigarettes during a conversation, think to yourself “no thank you, no thank you, no thank you” in case she offers you one.

6.Make your bedroom a device-free zone, agree with your partner on a set amount of time when you will surf the Internet or play Words With Friends. Make mealtimes device-free too. It fun when you do this with your partner.
So many couples are focused on gadgets and not on each other. Your gadget is not going to provide happiness Don’t let your phone seduce you into neglecting your partner. Reward yourself when you don’t fall into your habit. Reward yourself for meeting your goals by taking a break for a fun activity. Associate success with positive feelings and experiences, not with disappointment that you didn’t get your fix. You might need to try several rewards before you find one that works. Try setting an alarm for fifteen minutes from now each time you use one of these rewards. When the alarm goes off, ask yourself whether you still crave the bad habit. If so, try a different reward next time.

7. Meditate to help re-program your own mind. Whenever you find yourself in a situation where you are likely to fall into your bad habit, stop whatever you’re doing, and meditate for a few minutes always be conscious that you want to do away with that bad habit. Take a mini-vacation. Breaking a habit can be much easier when you’re put in an unfamiliar environment, possibly because your brain is no longer able to go on your normal routine. Take a weekend trip somewhere and focus on setting yourself a new routine.

8. Once you are on the road to recovery, you’ll be in a position to work on your marriage. Call in the help of friends and family that you have respect and value for. The people you see regularly, and people who have integrity in the society, as long as they take your efforts seriously. Ask them to help you enforce the changes you are making to your lifestyle, and to call you out when you slip back into that particular bad habit. Seek professional help. If your bad habit is having a serious effect on your life, get professional help.
Make sure you enjoy your marriage and not endure!!!!!!!!!!!